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I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
It takes balls to be a man.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.