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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
I hate it when I have guests at my house and they ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we poop in the yard.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.