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A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.