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I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
Anything is legal when there`s no police around