Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.