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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?