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Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!