Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
I dated this musician who used to play songs for me over the phone. Then I realized he was just putting me on hold.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.