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Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.