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When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
In an effort to explain marriage to my son I put Dora the Explorer on in Spanish and told him to figure it out or he sleeps on the couch.
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
Where is the button to restart summer?
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.