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Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.
I hate when men`s restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.