Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
I get my cardio from caffeine...
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
Smelling another person should be a choice.