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If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
I was having breakfast at a friend`s house and she said "How do you take your coffee?" I said "Very seriously."
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
awesome collection!
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.