Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.