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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.