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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.