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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.