Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Wife: You always blame other people for your problems. Me: Yeah, and whose fault is that?
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Be good ... or I will text Santa
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.