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This bartender doesn`t know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Youth is wasted on the young.
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness