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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
I hate when I go to pump gas only to find out that the little metal "handle hold up thingy" is broken, so I have actually squeeze and hold the handle. I hate it for two reasons: 1) its gross and i just wanna peel my hand skin off like gloves when im done. 2) it makes me realize how lazy I am.
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?