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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.