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Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It`s only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
The best way to grill a chicken is to whack it with a rubber hose before you ask why it crossed the road..
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)