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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome.