Daily Silly Status

My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny

Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.

Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days

Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$

I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.

I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...

None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.

I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.

I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"

Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.

I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.

auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.