Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent ... I would have to say it’s the kids.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.