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It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
Answering all questions with "but you ain`t got no legs Lieutenant Dan" stops people from asking you questions.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.