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Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.