Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.