Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.