Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Tried to explain Twitter to my 80 year old Mother, pretty sure she is now insane.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.