Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
Safe words are for quitters.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is