Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
My email notification is a cricket sound that drives the wife crazy looking for the cricket. Winning!
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
Drink till sheΒ΄s cute, but stop before the wedding
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.