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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.