Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
"You drive me to drink!!!" ~Me shouting to the taxi driver.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
If anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 1:00 PM until I’m escorted out by security.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside