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I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective