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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.