Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.