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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
In alcohol`s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd