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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Why don`t the post office get the Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!