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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
Wife fell asleep on the couch so I drew a spider on her glasses with dry erase marker. And now we wait...
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.