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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Nothing like calling off work and watching porn all morning.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
So apparently putting Alkaseltzer in my pocket while I`m getting baptized and pretending I`m the devil is not funny.