Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.