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Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine - I’d worship him too.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.