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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!