Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
never be afraid to wipe twice
I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook
Iām going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.