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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Iām trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.