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I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.