Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…