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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Home is where the pants aren’t.