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I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
I am absolutely a man of my word. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the word is "Unreliable".