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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.