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what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.