Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.