Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
A court date is still technically a date, right?
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.