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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
Work is one long game of back and forth emails with cleverly disguised f*ck you`s.