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Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Bitch Iām not insulting you, Iām describing you.
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.