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I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do, could you drop off some milk. Thanks.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
Gyms are full of people that haven`t found the right couch.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often