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You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.