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Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.