Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.