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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?