Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I`m checking Facebook and not taking pictures.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..